78% of Americans think that men should pay for the first date. Surprisingly, 74% of our UW Students from the Consuming Happiness Class of Spring ‘22 think the same way. Our students point out that even though much has changed about gender roles and equality, there are still some unwritten and widely accepted traditional norms. After the first date, in time, most couples start to either split up the check or pay in turns. Students claim that this stage mostly happens organically, without openly talking about it. Overall, our students think that in a relationship speaking about money is awkward, maybe even rude, and a taboo avoided most of the time.
Research shows that frequent disagreements over money increase the likelihood of divorce. Learning about “The Uneasy Relationship of Love and Money” students admit that the most eye-opening and interesting takeaway was learning that disagreements about money were in fact about differences in personal values. Students claim that now they feel motivated to be open about finances in the relationship.
Here are some tips to ease the uneasy relationship of love and money:
- Be Open From the Start
The first “financial” discussion that couples have is often on their first date on who will pay. Although there seems to be a common understanding on this, being open about money right from the beginning and coming to a decision that both are comfortable with, is a good place to start towards building a strong relationship.
- Acknowledge that Everyone Has a Different Dating Budget
Moving past the first date it is important to remember that everyone has a different budget for dating. Setting clear boundaries about how much both parties going to spend on dates, on gifts, and on shared meals would become a winning approach.
- Discuss Financial Backgrounds and Shared Goals
Sharing your financial background with your significant other would help you develop empathy toward each other. This is an important opportunity to see if your personal values align or if they require adjustment to build a stronger relationship. Being open about your financial background and current financial status will be helpful for spotting red flags. It will also help you arrive at a shared understanding of your financial goals and how to reach them.