Equality in Closure and Rebuilding
No matter who initiates the break-up, no matter whose fault it may be, and no matter how devastated or confused you find yourself – it is still your duty to bring your partnership to a fair and equitable closure. When you entered into your relationship, you made a commitment to manage the partnership. That promise of being an active manager still applies to the divorce process. You must manage the split.
First of all, never look at a break-up or divorce as a simple process just because you are amicable with your partner or think there isn’t any property worth dividing. Also realize that, while you are taking care of the business aspects of your break-up or divorce, you must also take care of yourself. Manage your transition post divorce by turning stumbling blocks like fear, loneliness and denial into rebuilding blocks that will give you the freedom to be yourself as a single person or in another love relationship.
The key is that you need to be informed and educated throughout the process. This will help you become the manager of your break-up or divorce. A plan and strategy is important for anyone to help you move towards a fair distribution of assets and wealth in this situation.
In terms of legality, the first step is to do some research on the laws in your state regarding break-ups of cohabiting couples or marriages. Each state has their own laws, and often they mean different things.For example, “equitable distribution” in some states means that partners split wealth and property 50-50 while in others it may mean that the
judge decides what is fair. If there are children involved, educate yourself about the child custody and support policies in your state because those also vary
The second step is to start getting the paperwork in order and make copies for yourself. What kinds of agreements did you have on record prior to moving in or getting married? Gather any contracts, agreements, or marriage certificates. What kinds of assets and debts do you have separately? Together? You’ll want to gather your tax returns, insurance policies, and statements from banks, investment accounts, salaries and benefit programs. You should also gather any records of property, including personal property, shared business interests, mortgages, deeds, titles, and records of debts and related correspondence. Along with this, you should inventory any valuable possessions you have.
Finally, you should keep track of all correspondence, meetings, and financial transactions related to the split. Set up a filing system and keep track of the time and money spent in the process.
Essential Things To Do:
- Do your research and get everything together for the legal part of your split.
- Look both for closure and new beginnings in your transition.
- Realize you’ll have your ups and downs. Don’t pretend you’re doing fine when you’re not. Resolve your feelings and keep moving forward.
- Give yourself time to heal and grow before committing to another relationship.
- Keep yourself busy socially and intellectually.
Maintain and update a file containing documents, receipts and other information related to your break-up or divorce. You can also use our checklists to understand and manage your break-up.